69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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