my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
why do cheetos always look like penises
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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