For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
