I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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