You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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