This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My dick has a subreddit
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
