Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize