Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
