whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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