Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
