He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
