That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
