i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
