Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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