Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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