I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
