did you get engaged???
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
