i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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