her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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