I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
