can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
