Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
