he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize