my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
