Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
