My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
