I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
