I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
