I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
