it was like his penis was on wheels.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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