Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
