Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize