dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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