Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
