doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
