I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
