I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize