I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
