I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
