God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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