she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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