You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
