plz talk dirty to me
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
send nudes
from the living room?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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