Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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