whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
