Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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