The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
