I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
