Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
