Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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