I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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