I'm laying in your front yard are you home
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
