I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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