he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
