watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
