I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
