I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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