No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
