it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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