guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
