dude i'm inner monologue high
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
