Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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