Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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