just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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